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Slain's Journal


Slain's Journal

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PROFILE




14 entries this month
 

Tired... just... a bit...

12:17 Jul 27 2014
Times Read: 837


Getting out of work at 5 am... to see family, to see more family a state over, back to work...and out again at 5 am and not having seen my bed once during that whole time... till NOW.... well over 24 hours of no sleeping and never being home...



That is what I call an adventure.



Painful... but absolutely worth it.


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It may be slow as fuck...

04:56 Jul 22 2014
Times Read: 853


But I believe in it.



Absolutely.


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sleep? what is that?

14:54 Jul 20 2014
Times Read: 870


Home from work...



Yep... still awake.



Why not?



LMFAO



Another fun night through. Now to rest my feet.


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19:39 Jul 13 2014
Times Read: 887


Get another guys blood on me.



Epic way to make the night much better.



Christ.


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Isis101
Isis101
22:30 Jul 20 2014

I'm afraid to ask how this happened...





 

Because Unicorns purple moat scaffolds. Pink running it Samoan.

05:40 Jul 11 2014
Times Read: 922


One of the really cool features of the English language, or any language really is the ability to imply something. Subtly insinuating an idea with, sometimes vague, timed key words or phrases.



However, there is a draw back. The implied and the the meant message only go as far as the person they are meant for. Sometimes an outsider can understand the intended message, or infer something else entirely. Such is the nature of open ended assertions.



Here's where the kicker comes in. The candid phrase. The unfiltered fact. When intertwined with the possibility that one may be being factual, or sarcastic at any given moment, it is utterly up to the interpreter to recognize the latter from the former.



Of course skill, learned habits and processes of thinking help with determining which is which. But the human condition of every individual, either takes a large toll, or bolsters their ability to do this properly. Ego, moral willingness to understand and a grasp of reality all take effect on what a singular person discerns from any particular phrase.



Why did I bother to type all that? Honestly... I just wanted to. This is all common sense. at least for those who care about what is communicated and understood.



I say this mumbo-jumbo because there lies a few real mysteries when it comes to the very precise and clear words that I use... and the unfathomable conclusion that some arrive at about those words.



Somehow, in speaking of my daughter and her impact on my life and what she means to me, more was 'understood' than just that. I don't really know how, and honestly, it amuses me. Further more it is even said that somewhere in what I wrote, I assume things of a nature completely unrelated to my daughter. How, or even more curiously... Where I even remotely speak of something unrelated to my daughter is a mystery that, well, won't ever be solved.



The human mind is an amazing place, be the person pleasant or not. It never stops surprising me, but something it saddens me. Upon being precise and mentioning one key idea, in an 'effort' to say something about 'what I've said' The topic of my daughter is completely bypassed and words added (as they are not there) to support some other ghost-like agenda.



The absolute truth of the matter is, I journal what I think and feel and the truth of my heart. I won't take back something, and I won't go back to edit it to seem more pleasing to anyone. My words are there, in plain sight, and how I somehow am saying more than what is there... is absolutely beyond my scope of understanding.



And that is okay, because in all actuality, Slain doesn't know everything.



But he does wonder how others enjoy pretending that they do.


COMMENTS

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Isis101
Isis101
22:48 Jul 11 2014

Your title appears to be major an internet translator error...lol

Could you translate this please?





Slain
Slain
02:21 Jul 13 2014

LOL.



It's essentially what some people seem to see, read, hear and understand when I make any sort of statement. As it is outline in this here journal. lol



Figured that if the entire journal was as incomprehensible as my prior ones, the title at least, would make more sense when read.



And I was bored.





 

in conclusion to the picture i just painted for you... and you too...

14:08 Jul 09 2014
Times Read: 947






It's strange though... I didn't feel at all like I was forced to do any of this, because all I ever want to see is a smile on my daughters face.



But... I supposed I was somehow forced into doing all this for her... Not sure how, but it must be true in some way. Since no father that wants nothing to do with his child, does this out of the kindness of his heart. He must have been forced somehow, right? There are some experts out there that know exactly what it is like to not be a wanted child and cared for like a human being by their father, and have, for every reason, found a need to compare me to such individuals. They might even be right.



But what's funny, is that my daughter's memories of her growing up don't compare to theirs and most importantly... never will. She's already deciding who she misses and wants to see, myself being among them. But yeah, I never wanted my daughter.



All my true friends have met my daughter, because I trust them enough and think their being around my daughter would be a benefit to her growing up and learning.



Anyone that does not respect the relationship between my daughter and I, or anyone who lacks respect for the struggles, heartache and pain I've been through because of wanting to be there... EVERY... SINGLE... FUCKING... DAY, has ZERO idea of what the worth of true family is, does not deserve to be a part of my life, and above all, do not deserve to ever be known by my daughter.



Let that sink in for the next time you wish to accept another's claims about who I am.



Stop begging for my friendship, you already had it. And it's evident just exactly how much that mattered to have crossed that line, to tell me how much our friendship didn't mean to ME!?, and then turn around and tell me you miss me!?. Sit back, relish and enjoy what you sacrificed it for, and leave me the FUCK alone.

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angelkiller
angelkiller
03:38 Jul 10 2014

I know I just commented on the other post...but...um....who was stupid enough toactually piss you off? o.O Cause I want to smack them, you're too awesome and caring for any of that bullshit to be believed by those who've known you for awhile..





Slain
Slain
05:41 Jul 11 2014

No one pissed me off.





 

Allow me to paint this picture for you... And you too.

13:48 Jul 09 2014
Times Read: 953


I never post pictures of myself and my daughter. It's just not my thing. Most times, whatever we are doing, it too fun or distracting to stop myself and pull out my phone to capture it. Memories are worth much more that way.



And Frankly... if you did not earn a spot next to me or my daughter to witness our time together, then it's really none of your business what we shared that day.



That being said, I never had a bad time with my daughter and I sure as hell don't have a play-by-play update on here nor on FB about what we do.



But two days ago, her birthday, was shared with a lot of people, family and my friends. They helped me make Little Foot's birthday so awesome that she was screaming " I had a great time!! It was nice meeting you!!!" out the window of the car as she said goodbye and I drove off; and that wasn't even the end of the day! Hmm hmm.



"Little Foot, we're going to a book store today. I want you to look around with me for a little while." She gasped and said " I LOVE books!!"



That... is how her birthday started.



I invited Nate to come along because he had not seen Little Foot in a little while and of course, he's also a big reader, and good with kids. Better than me. I picked him up and started on the way to Barnes and Noble down town. She explains to Nate how a book store and a library are the same, but different. Quite correctly, I might add. I had reserved three books for Little Foot as a surprise and wanted her to just have fun around the store and look at some books for later consideration. After getting the books, and Little Foot grabbing a box of kids crafts she wouldn't put down(My getting it for her), I decided to take her to Haagen-Daz Ice cream shop on South street. Oh course she gets a cone bigger than herself and doubles that in the mess she makes, but she loved it, or so said the minty-chocolate chip ice cream mess of a grin on her face.



Nate and I get her cleaned up and I glance down the street, and see Lorenzo's pizzeria, so... onwards to greasy goodness! I get TWO SLICES that equaled a pie and a half of pizza! Then proceeded to cautiously walk them to the van while being afraid a strong gust of wind might pick up the slices and take them flying, from how aerodynamic they were. Nate can barely hold Little Foot's hand from Little Foot's hopping around excitedly being impatient about biting into her piece... and drops it. Good thing the slices are enormous and I just gave her a piece. We eat, what we can, and then put away the rest for the trip back home.



I dropped Nate off, as our trip wasn't anywhere near done. She waved bye to him and off we went again to go visit another friend, X, so he could finally see Little Foot, since the last time he saw her she was still in a carrier. She loved being over there as she met his daughter and played around and ran just like she should. Me having a mini heart attack every times she tripped and fell, and her scratching off a scab and making it seem like she was dying. Minimal blood. Maximum hilarity. His mother in law cleans her leg up, and off to running around she goes again. They give us some fruit and I took a picture of his daughter laying and Little Foot sitting on the steps eating blueberries. The mosquitoes, are jerks. because that's when they caught her. 10 Plus bites all on the open back of her dress. Blah. Then inside the kids go to play for a good while more before I tell her it's time to go yet again. She thanks them for the fruit, and X for his birthday gift to her. She screams " I had a great time!! It was nice meeting you!!!" as we leave.



We stop by my dads for her to see some more family. She run around a bit more and my dad gives her some paper to draw on since she piratically demanded it. Lol... we stay there a bit too late while things are getting prepped at the house for her birthday. Things are set up and she hugs and kisses everyone, tell my dad he misses him and we're on our way again. As we're driving she says "Wow... we've been riding around a LOT today, dad! Today was my great birthday because I had a lot of fun, and i made new friends!" I just smile and told her I was glad she enjoyed it. It wasn't over yet. Hmm hmm. We get to my house, and my mother stops her at the door while they make one more adjustment... then Little Foot was allowed into a dark living room. And she gasps at the sparklers lit in the darkness held by my sisters. She sees her birthday ice cream cake and we get her settled and sing to her. Of course... I let her cut her cake, and got her with a glob of icing before she got her first bite. Right along her nose. She starts collecting her present and bragging about the presents I got her at the books store. She plays around with one of her jewelry sets before we all get ready for bed.



EXHAUSTING DAY for me... she was still kind of wired, but also tired from her day. her hugging me constantly throughout the day telling me she loved me and that she was having a lot of fun was the best of the whole thing. I'm just glad I got to do it.


COMMENTS

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angelkiller
angelkiller
03:36 Jul 10 2014

That sounds like an amazing birthday for a little girl, Slain, I'm happy it turned out so well for you both. ^^ From what I see, you're a wonderful father, so I wish you luck when she enters her teens~ Lol





 

09:58 Jul 07 2014
Times Read: 968




I am Proud, the Jester.

My skill lies in letting your anger fester.

Only if your caring makes it faster;

Truth, much apart from "that" doesn't matter.

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It may be sporadic, but it brings a smile to me nonetheless.

07:14 Jul 07 2014
Times Read: 979


Think about what makes you miserable.... what truly upsets you at the end of the day that makes you tear up and angers you in silence. Compare that to what makes others miserable and hurts them, and just how miserable they are made by something. Then ask yourself...







Do you believe in karma?


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13:18 Jul 06 2014
Times Read: 989


Buahahaha.



My legs are killing me. Time for bed.



Another fun night. At least I get to do what I like. haha


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11:08 Jul 05 2014
Times Read: 1,011


That tickles me...





Apparently, flashing the bar while also being a tranny seems to upset some people. LMFAO.

(a REALLY convincing one at that.)



Another hilarious night.



Ugh I need sleep.


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WishBone
WishBone
12:40 Jul 05 2014

the question is was there a man puss involved lol





 

pues toma pa' que...

04:56 Jul 04 2014
Times Read: 1,033




Tu tienes algo que me mata

Que me quema por dentro

A tu lado siento perder la noción del tiempo



Me gusta como caminas, la forma en que me mira

Pa' que te enamores inventare un millón de rimas



Yo... te veo sola

Bailando mi canción al son de las olas

Concédame esta pieza mi señora

Vera como esto te va enamorar



te veo sola

Bailando mi canción al son de las olas

Concédame esta pieza mi señora

Vera como esto te va enamorar



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Let me remind you of R. Kelly for just a moment or two...

10:11 Jul 03 2014
Times Read: 1,058


"No... I'm sorry. Crackheads are NOT allowed in the bathroom, for no reason apart from... using the bloody bathroom. There are 4 guys in front of me... waiting and you two idiots have been in here much too long NOT using the bathroom. Please... and thank you.. now remove yourselves from the lavatories you are herein presently and FUCK THE HELL OFF. "



...my annoyed look seemed to say as I simply told them to get the fuck out, while pointing down the hall way.



'you ain't gonna talk to me that way! You ain't gonna tell us to get out of nowhere!" One of the tall pair yelled at me as they slowly obeyed. Unconcerned for their words as my headset is exploding with orders and queries similar to ' static- static-- at his post!?!?'' and "Where -static- is Slain!?" and 'he needs to -static- fucking dance floor!" I glare at the two once again silent after looking back down the hall leading to the bar, watching my cover impatiently at my post. There's a fight in the club.



Why... the fuck not?



The tall pair(significantly taller than me) give me a dirty look and finally follow my commands. My heart calming itself instantly. I motion the four to hurry the hell up as I remember my bladder screaming at me louder than the thundering bass of the club music.



I'm back at my post... and covering the dance floor steps for another because now most of the others.... are grouped in the misty center of the building. Must have been a short fight... I feel amazing. I considered peeing on those two fucktards. No need, they were back in there within the hour, so were the rest of the guys. And my headset explodes with static screaming once again. buahahahah


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Medlin
Medlin
15:57 Jul 03 2014

LOL. An R. Kelly moment may not be the best or most dignified way to go, but in this case it would have at least been hilarious.



Maybe just pee on them in your mind?





 

Times of indulgence.

20:12 Jul 01 2014
Times Read: 1,075


Why must movie sequels to movies that stood alone well, be so great, yet movies with planned sequels suck so bad? LOL.



300 Rise of an Empire... freaking awesome.


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Isis101
Isis101
02:51 Jul 02 2014

I bet!








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